Alone I'm Broken, With You I'm Complete
by Am Team Wolf
Summary: Rachel Black has come home from collage but broken since she had a hard time with a boy there, also she is still not over her mothers death at home either. What happens when she meets the hot heeded Paul Lahote? Will she stay and fight her fears of what happened before with the boy, or will she run away not able to trust again.
1. Chapter 1 Never liked comeing back here

**Alone I'm Broken, With You I'm Complete**

**Chapter 1 Never liked coming here**

I groaned, as I got out of the Taxi and slammed the door shut, while the taxi man called Joe got out to get my bags. A lot has changed, since I had last come down to the little rainy Town La Push, since I so my old farther in his wheel chair, since I saw my younger brother Jacob. I've changed since I last saw them.

"Thank you" I said appreciated as he passed me my heavy bags.

" No problem" he paused before saying " You're a Black then uh" he said curiously."

Yeh" I answered uncomfortably.

" You must know about Jacob Black and that Swan girl then" he told.

I knew only over the phone by my dad, I heard the main part of it any way. That an ex boyfriend named Edward, had left her feeling broken, so Jacob was there to put her back together and fell hard for her. Then the guy Edward came back and she went back to him eagerly with out another thought. Jacob's still heart broken and now she's getting married to the guy, did you here getting married! I mean it's one thing forgiving him with open arms, but getting married. If that happened to me I'd hate the guy severely and never ever trust the guy again. I remember her vaguely and a never thought she could be that silly and Jacob well he just confuses me, since I always thought he only ever liked one girl that much, yet he left her and they were perfect together the Town knew that.

"I guess" I said hang on how did he know that ?, he's a Taxi driver in settle for crying out loud." How do you know that ?" I said wonder filling my voice.

He laughed and then said slyly " When you're in a Taxi most of the day, you tend to find out the latest gossip" he suddenly turned sad " Even when you don't want to find out the sad one's, Poor kid thought, it muss not be easy" he added.

" yeah" I agreed. I knew it wasn't easy for him, dad said that on the phone and when I talked to Jacob on the phone. I knew he was having a hard time, even though he tried to hide it.I paid the Joe the money for the Taxi ride.

" Thanks Rachel it was nice to meet you and good luck" he said happily.

" You to Joe, thanks for the ride" I said cheerfully as he got in and drove away. My smile faded as I tried to gather enough courage to turn around and go to the front door.

Since my mother died, I never liked coming here, all it did was bring back painful memories of her of us all together. I missed her still. It still hunts me the night of her death caused by the car crash. I was there in the back seat when it happened. I remember the flash of a light from the car that did it, and then the crash. I remember screaming her name but she never answered, then I had blacked out. I was never the same. Everything reminded me of her a specially things that had belonged to her. When I was 16, I was better, but I was still not completely healed from her death, because it felt like it was my fault and that I could have done something to save her if I had tried harder and I still feel exactly the same. Rebecca my sister felt the same as me, even thou she wasn't there with us in the car when it happened, but we were on are way to pick her up from a friend of hers. We both stayed strong for are younger brother Jacob and are dad and took care of them the best we could. But we were always broken on the inside, that hasn't changed for me I still am from other things to. So when me and Becky finished school, we left as quickly as we could, her marring a talented suffer, and me going to Washington saté college.

Am here outside my family's little red house because, at the end of my summer semester I graduated early. So am here to see them for a few weeks and then... I guess I don't know maybe get an apartment somewhere or something.

I shuck my head as I was still deep in thought over my life. I stopped walking Because I was at the front door already, and I hadn't even realized that I had walked. when I was deep in my thoughts. I stood there cautiously trying to get the courage to knock on the door.

Finally after a few minutes I knocked on the door, the sound ranged in my ears as I waited for it to be opened and my guilt and some of my worst fears to be spread over me, because I had left them. I heard heavy foot steps pounding on the wood floor heading to wards the front door. My heartbeat quickened as my mind was thinking so many things, but mostly because I had dreaded this moment for the door opened I took in a shaky breath.

Thank you for reading, This is my first one ever and I hope it was okay. Sorry if there is any spelling mistakes. Please could you let me know if you liked it or not.**I do not own Twilight or any of the Characters, but I twisted Rachel a bit about something happened with a boy when she was at Washington state college. **


	2. Chapter 2 I hope he knows

**Chapter 2 I hope he Knows**

" Rach your finally here" a husky, deep man like voice said, it reminded me of an older version voice of my younger brother Jacob.  
I looked up to see, that I was in fact right, because it was in fact an older Jacob then before. As I looked over him properly, I realized a lot is different of what I had remembered of him. Which shouldn't really surprise me, because it had been a while since I had last saw him. He had cropped his hair really short so that it didn't even reach to the end of his neck, his shoulders were really broad and he was also shockingly tall at lest over 6 feet.

" Good to see you Jake Wow you've gotten really big, from when I last saw you. " I said as I put my heavy bags down and he pulled me into a bone crushing hug which I returned happily. It was good to see a I familiar face.

" It's good to see you too, Come on in" He said encouragingly moving out of the way so I could come in. " dad is in the living room watching T.V, he's been looking forward to seeing you again, Charlie's there too". He told me as he made his way to the living room. Charlie is my dads best friend since well since forever and they're extremely close and they would always watch baseball or go fishing together. I followed Jake and saw my old man in his wheel chair, watching baseball with a beer in hand just like Charlie to with both of their eyes transfixed to the screen just like they always have.

" Rach is here" Jake announced flopping into a chair and turning his attention to the TV.

Both heads turned their heads at the same time towards me with their eyes full of delight. Billy moved his wheel chair towards me with a big grin on his face, as he reached me he pulled me into a hug.

" Finally your back" he laughed hugging me tighter.

" It's good to be back" I told him returning the hug " I've missed you both so much".

" we've missed you too"

" Rach, it's been a while " Charlie told me " give us a hug,".

" It has" I agreed as I walked over to hug him, chuckling lightly.

As I went to sit on the couch, I looked around, everything was the same the little T.V the ragged armchair and the worn out chairs. it was all the same which made it really hard to not pitcher her, her smiling face her cheerful brown eyes, her comforting embrace. But the thing that got me the most were the pitchers around the room, there were pitchers of us in our child hood and most of them had her in. It made it so hard not to crack and just break down right there.

" So how you've been, what have I missed around here then" I asked trying to distract myself.

An that was that they talked about things that had happened, they asked me about college, and I answered back about the most of the main things, I couldn't tell them about what happened, I just couldn't, I couldn't even think about it myself right now, I was still so scared about everything myself, about what he did and what he could still do. I could see I wasn't the only one hiding things about myself. Jacob was, I could see some thing had happened or was happening, it was in his eyes the way he looked at me, but also his body language towards me. I knew Jacob, properly better than most people. I grew up with him and once upon a time we were quiet close, I knew when he was feeling guilty, upset, scared, sad, angry and so many other emotions and what his body language was like. I know this isn't something little, it's something big, but whatever it is, I will be here waiting for him, he knows that or at least I hope he does.

…...

It was around six o'clock and we were still all sitting in the living room catching up, but were now on the topic of what we should do for tea.

" Lets order pizza" said Jake grinning like an idiot.

" No that's really unhealthy, I'll cook, an tell me you haven't just been living on junk food I asked disapprovingly.

" No we haven't and that's fine Rach, will have pizza, you're a guest you don't have to cook." dad told me.

" No. no, I'll cook, besides you properly haven't had a decent an healthy meal in ages"

I got up and made my way to the kitchen, It was exactly the same, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, trying not to think about it. I searched through the same old small kitchen. I found many mouldy things that I put in the bin, but there was nothing useful. After 10 minutes I found paste and a common looking tomato sauce but looked liked it had been in the cupboard for a while , that had been there a while, but there was nothing else so it would have to do.

Tea was nothing out of the ordinary, except I was with most of my family which made it special since it didn't happen often. After tea Charlie went home after saying how good it was to see me and thanking me for tea, and saying how lovely it was. We played cards games for a while until we realized it was eleven o'clock, however I was already really tired from my journey and lack of sleep anyway.

" Night Jake, night dad" I told them tiredly.

" Night Rach" Jake shouted back.

" Night, Rach, it good to finally see you again" he true fully told me back.

I brushed my teeth and got my bag from the small hallway. Then I got out my dark purple pyjamas and put them on taking as long as possible trying to stall going to sleep. After I put on my pyjamas, I got into bed and fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow, and I was forced into my nightmares of her and him.

Thank you for reading, I hope it was okay. Sorry if there is any spelling mistakes. Please could you let me know if you liked it or not.

**Once again I do not own Twilight or any of the Characters, but I twisted Rachel a bit about something happened with a boy when she was at Washington state college. **


	3. Chapter 3 How it started

**Chapter 3 How it started**

I woke up gasping for breath, hugging myself for the little comfort it would give me, tears streaming down my face, as it all came back to me, and it felt so real, like I was going through it all over again.

**FLASHBACK FROM MY NIGHTMARE/MEMORY**

" **Rach, I told you, I told you we would have a day just you and me, just like I promised" My younger mother Sarah laughed while she told me so many years ago, her eyes gleaming with happiness as her black, shiny, wavy hair swayed down to her waist, just like it used to. I was eight years old at the time, I had the same face but younger with her chocolate brown eyes, with my black curly hair, we had gone to the cinemas in port angles, because I had badgered her for ages about a day just her and me, no annoying siblings to steal hr away, just her and me.**

**The scene changed, and I saw her delighted face, with her joyful chocolate brown eyes staring at me, but it suddenly changed to anger and disappointment. **

"**This is all your fault Rachel Black".**

"**No mum I- "**

"**How could you do that, how could you it to your own mother, your supposed to be the oldest, the matures, the responsible one, but most importantly the trustworthy one"**

"**I am I -" I said helplessly.**

" **You are a disgrace to this family, you've caused so much pain,for your dad, for Jake, and for Becky"**

"**I didn't mean for this to happen I,I,I-"**

"**it's all your fault, just look at what you've done"**

**The scene changed but this time it was a memory that had haunted me since day one. I saw it all over again, all..of…it. I was so terrified of it all, how could I be that heartless, how could any one be.**

**END OF FLASHBACK FROM MY NIGHTMARE/MEMORY**

I've never forgotten the way she looked at me the way her eyes once held happiness to them being lifeless, it just isn't something you forget.

I sat there hugging myself, thinking over everything letting my mind wander, which is never a good idea, because they always end up being depressing thoughts.

**FLASHBACK**

"**Tom, Tom, are you in here" I said as I opened his dorm room. I was at college, in my second year out of the three years. I always found it hard to trust anyone, but for some reason I had felt like, I could trust Tom, but that had just been another one of my biggest mistakes. Tom Ripen is his name, he had light blue eyes, with light shady blond hair, with an average body structure. He always had a friendly expression on his face, and always seamed to be there for me, but that was fake he never cared, in fact it was properly me that cared and was there for him, well I only did for the first year and a bit. Well like I said anyway, I find it hard to trust people, so you can imagine how surprised I was when he asked me out on are second term of are first year, and I said yes, but we had been happily dating since today. We had planned to meet up, but I couldn't find him anywhere. So I went to his dorm he shares with a guy named Dylan Mont, I had only ever met him once he had grey eyes with black spiky hair, I didn't really know much about him except that he was very popular with the girls. I gasped, because there I found Tom full on doing it with my only close friend Katy. Katy had dark brown hair with a bit of red in it, with beautiful light green eyes she was the only other person I trusted, but her I honestly thought for once, that it wasn't a mistake to that maybe just maybe she was a true friend, but obviously from the sight in front of me she wasn't, I was wrong I could never trust the right people, it would always end up me getting hurt no matter what either of us do.**

"**Kate…y…To…m,I,I -" I was speechless, I couldn't believe it, I trusted them they knew how hard it was, I couldn't believe them.**

" **Rachel, please listen to me this is not what it looks like, he forced me to, you've got to trust me Rach, he forced me, please you have to believe me" she told me desperate for me to believe her.**

"**I,I, Katy I can't believe you would do this we are so not friends anymore, I hate you I, I" I told her as I looked over where she lied only covered in her top half by part of the thin threaded blanket. " I thought you were my friend"**

" **No, am your friend, I am I -"**

"**I,I- " I couldn't get the words out. Tom turned to me reaching his arms out as if coming to me for a hug and rubbing his lips together "don't touch me, don't we are so over Tom, just don't" I told him sternly, I was on the verge of tears as I made my way to the dorm room door "am never speaking to either of you to again"**

"**Rachel, wait" Tom shouted.**

**I ignored him, but he griped my arm really hard, an it hurt.**

"**Let go of me" I couldn't help but let a tear fall.**

"**No, not until you listen to me" His grip got tighter.**

"**Your hurting me, please just let go" Tears were streaming down my face like a waterfall by now.**

"**Not until you listen"**

"**Let her go Tom" Katy told him trying to help me, luckily she was dressed in her clothes.**

"**No, stay out of this Katy, Rach stop moaning and listen to me, okay" He said honestly, but pushing me with a hard force against the wall, when he said the last word.**

" **Okay" I said fear written in my voice.**

"**Good, so this is how its going to play out, you're going to forgive me or else and nobody is going to know about what just happened with me and Katy, and will go back on with life just how it used to, or else" he said with a lot of vermin at the end of it. I nodded terrified of what he would do to me, if I didn't. Even though I felt like a right wimp, not able to stand up to him, but I just couldn't, it was perfetic I know, I know, trust me. **

**END OF FLASHBACK**

That was how it started with Tom, stupid Tom. I had found out that there were quite a threw girls he had done it with before Katy, some…emm were forced is a nice way of saying it, some not they were just happy to do it.

Anyhow, that was when the abuse started, before it got deadly. Katy and me never really got as close as before. I know he properly did force her, but she had done other things that offended and also effected me, it was very sad because for the rest of the year it was awkward and we were both lonely, or more loners.

I looked around the room, which was exactly the same as it used to be. When me and Becky shared the room, before we both went our separate ways. We looked similar which was hard for us, but not because we didn't want to look like each other, but because of how much we looked like our mother, which no one ever forgot to remind us about, which literally killed us inside. We both had her chocolate brown eyes, with wavy black hair, the only difference for Becky was that she didn't inherit her other face features she inherited dad's face features. Were as for me, the only thing in her face features I didn't get was her nose. It hunted me every time I looked at myself in a mirror, in any damn MIRROR, all I saw was her happy cheerful smiling face. Not only that when ever I did something that she did people would say things like

"Your so like your mother" or

"That's the way your mother would of acted" or

" Just like her mother"

"Defiantly Sarah Black's daughter" the list could go on for eternally, people would always say a lot of my personality was like her, or

"That one came from your mother"

Which was one of the many reasons, why it became all too much in my old small home town Lu Push.

Our old room had the paint colour red on the wall, that was nearly peeled off from all the years it had been there. There were two twin beds one each on the oppist sides of the walls across from each other, both with a battered old thin red duvet and pillow. There were small, round, tables next to the bed, one with my alarm clock the other empty. with a wooden wardrobe in the corner, and in the other corner is a dark brown desk chair, with a blue swing chair to go with it. Next to my bed were my unpacked.

My bed creaked as I got up off my bed quietly as to not wake the others up. I searched through my bag to find my purple brush, to brush my hair as it had gone crazy in the night like it always does. Then I put on a pair of underwear, light blue jeans, with a light blue thin shirt. Then I tiptoed into the bathroom, brushed my teeth and tried to avoid looking in the mirror. When I finished I got cold water from the tap and splashed it on my face. While doing it I made the mistake of looking forward into the round, chipped, mirror, forcing me too see my haunting refection so similar to hers. Which made me want to cry, her words in my dream that were full of hatred echoed in my head.

"It's all your fault" it kept saying like it was on a tape that kept playing endlessly.

I wiped the tears that had begun to fall down my face after ages just standing there. I finally tore my eyes away from the mirror, and made my way towards the kitchen to start cooking breakfast for everyone. After 10 minutes of looking around in the kitchen cupboard, I eventually realized we were out of a lot of food and other supplies we needed. Eventually I came to a conclusion to go shopping and to leave a note on the fridge, incase they got up and wondered were I was.

Dad/Jacob

Gone out to the shops, to get supplies and food we need. I'll be back soon.

Rachel

The shops were further along then I remembered, since I ended up passing first beach. Which made me pretty sure I was either lost or had gone to far, since am positive I wasn't supposed to go that far.

"Ouch" I said as I fell over, because I hadn't looked were I was going and had bumped into something hard and solid. I looked up to find that I had bumped into a man, actually…maybe a boy. You see he looked in his late twenties, but I couldn't be sure if he was a man or not, since he looked a lot like Jake and people think the same of Jake, unless they knew him. His hair looked like it had been cropped short like Jake with the same jet black hair, he was bored shouldered like Jake and again and well over 6 feet." Sorry, I wasn't watching were I was going"

" Well watch it will you, you have eyes don't you" he told me with an angry but irritating voice as if he was never happy or satisfied.

I got up clumsily and glared at the guy who the hell did he think he was " Idiot"

He looked at me angrily and then changed as if he was suddenly in a daze, his eyes were so beautiful, a beautiful silver looking colour.

I wasn't going to let it affect me thou, oh gosh no, I glared and walked off with his confused eyes following after me.

**I hope you like it and I tried to make it how Paul would react. Sorry for any mistakes with the vocabulary, please, please comment .**


	4. Chapter 4 She always cared

**Chapter 4 She always cared**

I eventually found, the little shop that the Ateara's owned about half an hour later. As I opened the door a bell ringed gently to let people know a customer had come. I got a small metal basket, that was next to the faintly blue door, that I had just come in from, and walked around, as I tried to remember what we need.

I looked along the ordinary wooden shelves, picking out the groceries and the bits and bops I was here for. Then I made my way towards the cheek out, where there was a middle age looking woman there. I didn't think I knew her, but as I got closer I realized she was Mrs. Ateara. She's the owner of the shop, but also Quil Ateara's mum, but the main one is because she was my mum's cousin and they were very close, which brought back memories, oh the memories !

"Rachel Black, is that you" she asked surprise in her voice.

I nodded weekly " It's good to see you again Leann " I told her severally just above a whisper as the memories were coming back.

"Oh my" she said coming from behind the till to give me a hug, which comforted me slightly. " Oh look at you, all grown up ay" she chuckled slightly " The more I look at you, the more you remind me of your mother" she said culping the side of my cheek, smiling like an idiot. " It's good to have you back"

" It's good to have you back for a while" I said stating a fact. " How have you and the others been"

"Oh yeah were all good, Quil's changed… a bit, but still good" She paused before saying " How about you uhh how was college" she asked interested well unloading my basket.

Uhhhhhhhhhhhh what to say, what to say, what tooooo say.

"Uhhh…. you know same old, same old" So as to not wanting to give anything away, As I said it, I turned my attention to some dairy milk chocolate bars that were on offer that were on the side of the counter, so that she couldn't see my face.

"That er be £30:54, so how long are you staying" hope filling her voice as she asked me the last bit.

"Eh am not to sure at least a thew weeks, well I figure it out, if my dad and Jake don't mind me staying that long" I told her true fully as I paid her and picked up my shopping.

"They won't mind they'll just be happy you're here" She then added thoughtfully " It be good for them"

"Yeah it will be I hope, see you" I said as I made my way towards the door.

"Oh sure, come back later so we can catch up" she told me hopeful, while she waved goodbyes as I walked out the door shopping bags in hand, with tears down my face, since I kept seeing memories flash through my mind.

**FLASHBACK FROM MEMEORY**

**" Mummy, mummy " I said tugging on her arm, trying to get her attention, to tell her that Becky had fallen off a rock, she was crying and couldn't get up.**

**We were six. We were at first beach with the Ateara's and Quil and Jake were playing since they were best friends and are even closer now, than they ever where before. But then they met Embry Call who they met when they started pre school. Then it became just the three of them, you could never see one without the other it was like they were the three musketeers .**

**"Rach, stop it, just wait, Rachel am in the middle of a conversation with Leann " She told me annoyed.**

**"But Mummy"**

**"No Rach , no, am busy go play with you sister"**

**"Mummy Becky's hurt, she's crying "**

**"What, where is she, what happened"**

**"Come quick, over here" I said running to where Becky was crying curled up on the dry sand, about a through steps away from where the danger hazard rocks were.**

**"Becky sweetie, what happened, what hurts" she asked her voice filled with concern, as she helped her up.**

**"My arm, it really hurts " Becky dramatically said in tears.**

**"It's alright" my mum had said well she looked over her arm and saw that it was just a tiny scratch, [ she was obviously very lucky, since she didn't fall on the rocks, she fortunately fell off them ] then she kissed it. " It's okay sweetie, it's alright mummy kissing it better" she told her while kissing it repeating all over.**

**END OF FLASHBACK FROM MEMORY**

Mum always cared for us, always. No matter what it was or even if it was nothing big, just a little thing and had nothing to do with her, she always, always cared, listened or pretended to understand.

**FLASHBACK FROM MEMORY**

**I was six. I had come home crying from school and like any eight years old the reason was really something and nothing . As soon as I got home, I went straight up to mine and beck's room. I buried myself into the quilt, trying to muffle my sobbing.**

**Becky loudly came in singing repeatedly in a cheerful tone "Rach, Rachie, Rachie, Rachie" She stopped suddenly, when she realized I was upset. " Rach what's up"**

**I didn't respond.**

**" Rachel"**

**"Leave"**

**"What" She told me confused.**

**"Just get out"**

**"No it's my room too, you leave" She said now getting mad, with her arms typically folded against her stomach. Which is now a days know as an angry Rebecca Black .**

**"GET OUT YOU IDIOT, I HATE YOU" I told her anger just coming from me out of no where.**

**"WHY YOU BEING SO MEAN, YOU BIG MEANIE"**

**"JUST GET OUT"**

**"FINE" She shouted while storming out of the room, as I through a pillow at her back.**

**"Ooocchh" She yelled dramatically.**

**I had a through moment of silence, except for Becky's crying in the living room before mum came in "Rachel, did you just through a pillow at you're sister"**

**"Yes"**

**"Why" she asked.**

**It Wasn't an angry tone. No, no it was more of a gentle, soft tone as if she knew something was up with me.**

**"I wanted to be alone, but she wouldn't leave"**

**"But why, why, she told me she only asked you what was wrong". She moved towards my bed, with a knowing look on her face. " What happened hun? Why were you crying when you came home from school?**

**"I don't wanna talk about it" there was a pause, before I told her everything " Sandra Halous said she isn't my friend anymore, an that she's never speaking to me again" I told her through my tears.**

**At that time Sandra Halous was my best friend. We were always friends, then enemies, then back to being friends over nothing. Mum always seamed to care, even after so many times.**

**"Oh honey, you know she doesn't really mean it. You too always end up being friends again. Why don't we watch Cinderella " She told me gently putting her arms around me leading me to the couch, were she set up the TV and cuddled up next to me. Which was giving me the comfort I needed.**

**END OF FLASHBACK FROM MEMORY**

I looked around and I realized, I had done it once again. I was at the beach. That's right, I hadn't been paying any attention to where I was going, yet again. My wrists were groaing in pain, as the tight plastic handles griped them hard. So I decided to go on the sand and sit in my old favourite spot. Were I used to go for comfort when mum errrr….. died, it was the only place I could really let my own emotions out, with out looking week in front of the others. Because since I was the oldest out of the three of us, I always thought that ment I had to keep the faith, the hope that everything was going to be fine, and we were all going to get through it. But even I didn't convince myself that.

The spot was my favourite spot, to let my feelings out, because it was the perfect spot. It had everything I needed, the sun was just right, never in my eyes and I was never in the shade and most importantly it was on the quiet part of the beach. The bit that it was just to far for people to walk to, because they couldn't be bothered to walk that far. I remember it being so peaceful and quiet. The best bit was that there were no sympathetic or pity faces. Which made it to be the perfect place for me to break down crying.

Suddenly a voice sounded "erm, are you alright" A voice said, sounding as if it was far away bringing me back to reality.

"Yeh, er fine thanks" I said looking up and then back down. Because I was trying to be polite, since mum always used to tell us kids, that it was rude not to be looking at someone when they were talking to you or you were talking to them.

But when I did, I did a double take back.

Thank you for reading. Sorry for any spelling or vocabulary mistakes. Please, please review.


	5. Chapter 5 The Warning

**Chapter 5 Warning**

It was him! That angry, arrogant asshole again.

"Yeah, yeah right" he said sarcastically. Then adding " If your really fine why do you look like crap then"

I let out a frustrated sign "What do you want"

"Just to see if your alright" he said innocently struggling his shoulders.

"Ha sure, sure" I said not believing a word he just said. He was not that good of an actor. Since while talking to me he said it full of humour, with a sly smile on his face and his eyes full of mischief.

"Fine, you don't have to believe me" he said frustrated . Then it changed to arrogance "I'm Paul by the way" he introduce himself putting his hand out for me to shake in greeting.

"Good for you" I replied ignoring his hand as if it wasn't even there.

"and you are" He pushed eagerly with a hint of anger.

"Nobody"

He laughed a big deep laugh "Oh come on, I'm only asking for your name, it's not as if I'm asking you to tell me your secrets" he said anger clear in his voice.

I looked at him to tell him some sharp comeback back, but kept quiet as he was shaking weirdly, but scared and thought better of it. Since I didn't really know him and what he was like.

"Fine then, if you must know my name is Rachel, Rachel Black" I told him getting up and picking up my shopping bags.

"Waite, you don't happen to be one of Jacob Black's sisters do you" he asked worried for some reason.

"Uerm, yeah I'm kinda his oldest sister"

"Oh I er gotter go" he said. You could tell he was really out of it, as he bumped into a tree as he made his way of the beach. While muttering something like "I'm so dead, so very very dead, he going to kill me" over and over.

WEIRD!

Since he had left I thought I might as well stay for a bit longer, since he wasn't there to annoy me anymore. It was so peaceful and relaxing, yet so scary from all the memories it dug back up of what I had tried to keep hidden.

"Hey, you there" A girl's voice broke out.

I looked up to find a girl coming towards me. From the distance away ,she looked quiet a small girl, but as she got closer she was actually a bit taller than average height, slim, blond with stunning hazel eyes.

"Hey" I said unsurely back, not knowing how to reply back.

"Look I wanted to warn you"

"Warn me, warn me about what" I said totally confused.

"Paul, you know the guy you were just talking to"

" Why, you warning me about him " I asked confused.

"Do you like him" she asked ignoring my question.

"No, he's an ass, I know an ass when I see one" I told her truth written on my face, as well as in my voice.

She laughed "good to know, I'm glad there's some one here who hasn't got the hot's for that jerk"

"So what was it you wanted to warn me about him" curiosity in my voice.

"He's the world's biggest player, cheater and liar, has a new girl every week. Some of them don't even last that. He'll play girl for dares, bets and sometimes even just do it for a joke. He tricks them in believing that their the one for him [Soul mate] or that their the one to change him."

"Seams like you know the feeling"

"Not really with him, I've seen how he treats them and what it does to his victims after he's finished with them. But I've also felt it before with some one else who did it to me.". You could tell when she said the last bit that it was true, because of all the different emotions in her voice.

"Well thanks for er warning me" I said kind of awkwardly.

"It's no problem. I'd do it for anyone, never mind some one who's been like a sister to me in all these years"

WHAT!

"You don't remember me do you" she stated hurt clear in her voice.

"I,I erm, I-"

"Don't worry" She told me butting in. But carried on hurriedly as to try to explain her point. "Rachel you've known me since you were born. You just haven't seen me in a while, last time you were here you never saw me. Which is why I look so different"

" Who are you? Why didn't we see each other?" I asked.

She paused before saying " I'm Lila Young - Fuller, you should know my story"

...

**Thank you for all your reviews and I'm really sorry that's it's so short as well as well as the title of the chapter not being good. I promise next time I'll make it longer and you wont have to wait as long.**

**Please review.**


	6. Chapter 6 I Could Never Forgive Myself

**Chapter 6 Could Never Forgive Myself**

OH MY GOD!

LILA!

OH GOD JACOB

THAT RUDDY IDIOT!

Poor Lila.

It was Jacob, who did it to her. Well kind of. He is so stupid. You see this is what happened. They were best friends closer than I have ever seen any one, they were meant to be and like I said before the town knew that. But when they started high school, he ditched her, said awful things to her, played her many times and much more. From what I knew and from what my dad had told me, she had gone through a very hard time.

It was painful when I heard. Because it was right what she had said, she was like my sister. Like a little sister, that I cared deeply for. Because she was so close with Jacob and that they had a special boned with each other which is very hard to find with anyone. It made Dad think of her as another daughter and me and Becky to care for her like a sister and even more when we got to know her. Me and her were the closest if you exclude Jacob of corse. If Jacob wasn't around and she needed someone to talk to, she would always come to me more than the others.

I hugged her with tears in my eyes. I felt so bad about what happened, not talking sense into Jacob. I wanted to give him such a slap for treating her the way he did. But the most important thing is, I wanted to give myself that slap to, for not being there to comfort my little sister when she needed it most.

"I'm so sorry" I said still hugging her.

"It's not your fault" she said it was clear in her voice that she didn't really want to talk about it.

"I should have come home, should have come and comforted you" I said gripping her tighter.

"You're here for now and that's all that's matters " she told me confidence and happiness clear in her voice as she said it.

"I've missed you Lila" I said moving my arms from around her.

But she wouldn't move, just hugged me tighter. "Oh you've got no idea how much I've missed you Rachel" she said tears slipping down her face and onto my shoulders and arms. "Too much" she said barely a whisper that I nearly didn't hear her and I don't think I was actually supposed to hear what she said.

I put my arms back around her and hugged her just as tightly.

She is my little sister and always will be.

I could never forgive myself for what I had done to her and what I am still doing to her.

To my little sister!

Who does that to their little sister!

I should have done something!

But this will never change the fact. That after all they've been through that they still belong with each other. Because even if Jacob left her, I don't think he really did leave her in his heart. Because even if Jacob had changed in every one eyes.

Which maybe he had.

He could never change the way he felt about her. There is just absolutely no doubt he could for Lila Young - Fuller.

Never ever!

Because they will always be

Together forever !

…...

We stayed like that for a while just thinking about the past and the present. But eventually I had to go since Dad and Jacob would be getting up soon. But I promised to come and see her or we could meet up some where so that we could catch up and hang out. I never offered for her to come to mine in case Jacob was in, knowing she didn't want to be around him anymore than she had to now a days. Were as before it was as far as opposite could go.

When I finally did get home, I started to unpack the shopping putting it where I assumed it goes. Then I started to cook the famous old English Breakfasts for us all to eat.

"I SMELL BACON!" suddenly a voice shouted next to me picking me up, then spinning me around and then putting me back down.

I screamed as it give me such a fright. I turned around to glare at the person who scared the heck out of me.

It was Jake.

"YOU BLOODY IDIOT JACOB YOU SCARED THE HELL OUT OF ME" I shouted angrily. That I started to hit him with my hand, but not hard enough to hurt him. Yet not that gentle that it didn't make an impact either. But it was weird, since I was certain that most of the pain came to me on my arms instead of him.

"Rach stop, stop it, okay I'm sorry alright please just stop, your gunner get yourself hurt" he said full of worry grabbing my hands and making me stop.

"Fine" I said reluctantly. And then it changed to surprise "What you doing up? " he had never been an early riser and even when I was at college, when I rang home at 10 in the morning or something he would never be up. Which is why I was curious with what he was doing up so early.

He laughed "same as you." he said with humour. Then carrying on "I woke up, so I got dressed, brushed my teeth -"

"Don't be an idiot Jake, you know what I meant" I said interrupting him.

"Yeah I know what you meant, I got up about an hour ago and went for a jog. I left a note on the fridge and you were here, when I got back " he said confidingly.

"ermm, okay" I said not believing him. Because I got up exactly an hour ago and he wasn't up and there wasn't a note or anything on the fridge door saying he had gone for a jog, like he said he had done.

"No I did really, I did." he said trying to get me to believe him, as if he knew I didn't.

I moved back to where I had cooked breakfast and started to carry on. Jake followed looking rather amused and a bit sad.

"Set the table, will yah" I said.

" Sure, sure" He said distracted.

A though minutes later the table was set out with cutlery, plates with a full English breakfast on it, empty glasses and with a full carton of pure orange juice in the middle of the table. As I was just about to go and wake up Dad, he came through the door looking surprised probably to see Jacob up so early just as I were, also probably the fact of how I had cooked English breakfasts, since my guess is that he hasn't had one in a while.

"Morning, Dad" I say coming closer and giving him a kiss on the cheek cheerfully.

"Morning Rachel, Jacob" he said tiredly.

Jacob was to busy and distracted to reply as he was already onto his fourth helpings of breakfast. Except for morning with delight and giving me complements about my cooking. "Ohh Rach this so, so good" and many others as well.

"I keep forgetting how much he eats" I said chuckling.

"He sure does eat a lot" he agreed chuckling along with me.

"Hey, I'm a growing man" he suddenly defended himself.

"More like a fattening pig" I said back. Which set both me and dad off

laughing.

He through a waffle at me. "Shut up" he mumbled

I laughed picked up the waffle he through at me and happily took a bite of it.

As I looked around at my family, I realized I could never forgive myself for what I had done to them. Leavening Jake on his own, for him to help dad on his own and so many others to both of them. I could never forgive myself for abandoning them.

**Thank you for reading. I hope you liked it. I'm very sorry for any spelling or vocabulary mistakes. I'll try not to take to long to write the next chapter. Please, please, please review and tell me what you think. **


	7. Chapter 7 What Can I Handle

**Chapter 7 What can I candle**

"So Sue's really excited to see yah" Dad spoke, while I was washing the dishes from breakfast.

Sue was another close person to the family, because her husband uncle Harry was an elder with my Dad except dad was head of the elders. So I was at their house and saw them a lot because of the meetings and other things. But also the fact that Harry was friends with my dad as well, and he goes fishing a lot, with Charlie as well.

**FLASHBACK FROM MEMORY**

**"****Rachel come on, we gotta go" Dad said trying to hind the truth in a cheerful voice.**

**I got up sadly and made my way towards the door.**

**It was a few months after the death of my mother, and things were slowly becoming better.**

**Very slowly.**

**It was a few weeks before me and Rachel decided to hide our true feelings and pretend that we were fine and try to help out around the house and to take care of Jake and my dad the best we could.**

**We were going to Anty Sue's and Uncle Harry's since the elders were doing there usual meeting. But it was different this time, because it was the first elders meeting with out mum there. Who would be usually in the kitchen with Sue and the other wife's of the elders, who would watch us and the other kids playing in the garden.**

**When we finally got their I went straight to the back to the garden not wanting to talk to anybody. An I went to the old swing.**

**"Hey Rach, you wanna go and play with Leah" Sue said standing next to me, but bent other so she could talk to me.**

**I shock my head.**

**"You wanna come in the kitchen and we could bake a cake for everyone" she said trying to get me to be social.**

**Since my mother's death. I didn't talk that much to anyone anymore.**

**I just didn't.**

**I don't know why, but it had something to do with her death. And for some reason I just couldn't strike up a conversation with anyone back then.**

**I shook my head again just wanting to go home and lock myself in the safety of no people's pity and concern in my room.**

**"Rachel listen sweetie, I know your sad and suffering because of your mother's death. But please come an talk to us. Don't be alone, don't suffer in silence." Then adding "Don't leave us in the dark Rachel, tell us what's going on in that clever head of yours. " Then she said desperately "We want to help you, let us help you"**

**I shock my head then muttered "I'm fine"**

**"You sure, because you don't seem it"**

**"Sure, sure"**

**"Alright then, but you coming to help cook that cake whether you like it or not. Come on it'll be fun." she said takeing me by the hand and dragging me to make the cake in the kitchen with Sue and the other people in the kitchen.**

**But that never meant I'd be able to talk to them a lot.**

**Even if I wanted to.**

**END OF FLASHBACK** FROM MEMORY

I shuck my head to get back to the present from memories of when I was going through I really hard time and replied.

"Really" I said trying to sound surprised. But really I was freaking out in my head. I didn't want a big deal of me coming back to visit.

"Oh yeah, she missed you a lot as well as us. So she organised a little get together at her house at three o'clock as a welcome back" he said cheerfully.

"Dad, I'll go it's just I don't want aunty Sue to make a big deal of me coming back " I told him trying to be considerate.

"She just happy you've come home" he paused before saying "we all are." he said a bit disappointed in me.

"It's the same said helpfully as he suddenly appeared and went through our cupboards. "oh come on Dad, don't look with anyone, I just hate people making big deals out of things for me " I said being honest.

"Or anything" Jake at me like that you know what she's like" he said as dad give him an annoyed look.

"Stay out of this Jacob" he said about to lose it. Which was weird since Dad was like the most patient person I have ever met.

"Dad I know, I don't see you much. And I get how much you care or love me, but please don't try to show it by making a big deal of me coming home. Please I can't handle that" I said trying to get him to understand.

"Well than Rachel, what can you handle? Because it looks like you can't handle your own family doesn't it." He said struggling to keep his temper in. "Look Rachel Black, we barely see you alright, so when you do come home. I am going to make a big deal out of it, because you're my daughter and I don't get to see you enough."

A horn beeped outside.

It was Charlie as he came in saying.

"You ready to go Billy"

"Yeah Charlie" he said unreadable, getting his things as he made his way towards the door.

"Dad I -"

He ignored me wheeling himself out of the room. I walked to the widow and watched as Charlie helped him into Charlie's smart looking police car and drove away.

I stood there just looking out the widow, ashamed of myself.

The main reason I didn't want people to make a big deal was because I was already feeling guilty and ashamed of me leaving la push and this was just adding more to it.

...

Thanks for reading and I'm sorry it took so long to update. I'm sorry for any spelling or vocabulary mistakes. Please, please review.

**Important message**

**The other thing is I'm going away for a though weeks so I won't be able to update for a while, but please please bear with me.**


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